Kanaya homestuck

Kanaya homestuck DEFAULT
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One hot fashionista.

Kanaya is another one of my favorite trolls, so expect a fuck ton of bias.

Kanaya lives in the desert with her custodian, a virgin mothergrub.

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Mother grubs, in a sense, give birth to trolls as a species, or at least help. I’m not going to cover this unless someone wants a gross write-up of troll biology, which isn’t very cut-and-dry to begin with. Just know Kanaya’s grub momma decided she would give up making babies to help raise Kanaya. This also shortened her lifespan for some reason.

She is raising Kanaya because Kanaya is a special troll. Because of her blood she can walk around in the daylight without worrying about the sun fucking her up. She also has to deal with troll zombies, who only come out during the day. This is why she carries a chainsaw.

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[It also doubles as lipstick.]

Kanaya was supposed to grow up to help take care of the mother grubs underground, had their planet continued to exist.

Anyway, her intrests include topiary arts, and Alternian GOTH fashion, which is full of bright colors. Goths on Alternia are anti-goths to humans. It’s weird. She’s a seamstress who makes her own clothes. She also loves TRASHY VAMPIRE ROMANCE NOVELS, and often has fantasies of encountering vampires, which are not real.

Kanaya has used her seamstress skills in the past to fix up Lil’ Cal. I’ll cover how that’s possible…eventually. I hope.

After Vriska and her friends broke up, Kanaya took it on herself to date Vriska and keep her out of trouble. However she cares for Vriska even more than that, and hopes to be in a relationship where they can make out and be all lovey dovey. Kanaya has a bad habit of meddling with other people’s relationships, and has essentially been called a whore by Eridan, in the nicest way possible. She just wants to stop conflict!

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Kanaya had a rough idea of what the game had held. When she was little Doc Scratch helped her sleep, and she woke up on Prospit. She looked at him as a father figure for a while, until he started to backstab everyone. When she was no longer useful to him he abandoned her, and she hasn’t trusted him since.

Kanaya had also gotten a hold of Rose’s GAMEFAQ from another universe, so she knew what the game was going to entail. She also had fantasies of what sort of person [TROLL] Rose was like, and went on to admire her like a hero.

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[Pictured: Kanaya’s fantasies]

On the day the game started Kanaya’s mother grub had died. Kanaya had to cut her open to take out the matriorb, an egg that would hatch into a new mothergrub and perpetuate their species. She then went on to help Vriska enter the game, but not without tidying up Vriska’s messy room and stopping Vriska from being a dick to Tavros.

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Once Kanaya had entered the game, she went to check on Vriska, only to see her making out with Tavros. In a fairy dress.

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One that KANAYA HAD MADE FOR HER. She felt used and heartbroken. Her relationship with Vriska had become painfully strained after this.

Kanaya would continue to play the game in the Land of Rays and Frogs [LoRaF]. Unsure of how to light the forge, she seeks Karkat’s memos for guidance. Being from the future, Karkat says she’ll get the hang of it eventually. They then begin to bond over memories of holidays passed with their custodians.

At one point Karkat apparently helped Kanaya hunt for frogs, as seems traditional of knights to do. He rushed it though, eager to finish the game in time, and their universe came out wonky because of it.

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On the meteor, Kanaya would saw off Tavros’ legs so Equius could give him new robotic ones, thus making him less useless. She also did it partially out of spite for the whole ordeal with Vriska. Vriska had no idea Kanaya was upset, then assumed Kanaya was actually into TAVROS and was mad that she got to him first.

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When Karkat decided to fuck with the humans, Kanaya’s interests instantly went to Rose. She tried talking to Rose, but she ended up talking to John by mistake and was tricked into thinking Rose was an idiot. She then talked to John in the past to figure out how to properly befriend Rose/get her goat. She made sure to talk to Rose out of chronological order, to properly fuck with her. She then goes on to ask Dave for advice, which goes well. Kanaya predicted by the eighth conversation they will sync up and become friends.

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[This is a lot of horseshit]

The eighth conversation showed Rose blowing up the gate to her next level. Kanaya realized Rose is dangerous and got right to meddling. They became friends over this. Kanaya gives her advice and tries to warn Rose of the dangers she is putting herself in. She also says that at one point Rose’s timeline just kinda blacks out, which worries her. Kanaya starts to get very attached to Rose throughout this.

She also goes on to make Eridan a wand, since he won’t stop whining about Rose’s. This will bite her in the ass later.

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Later, Kanaya would decide the best place to lay the egg is in the meteor itself. She realizes it’s her responsibility to make sure her species continues to exist. It’s her birthright, and she embraces it fully. She instructs Jade on how to breed frogs and then tells her she’s going to the center of the meteor to hatch the egg.

Then Eridan’s wand comes into play.

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He destroys the matriorb shortly after killing Feferi. Kanaya retaliates in anger, only to be shot herself with a hole through her chest.

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Karkat tries to revive her, but no dice.

We see Kanaya again in a dream, where she explains that she was asked by Aradia to fix up Lil’ Cal. Aradia also takes this time to tell her that she’s only sleeping.

This proves to be true. Kanaya wakes up with glowy vampire powers and a hole through her chest. She would then go on to suck Feferi’s blood for whatever fucking reason. This does not help anything.

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[OH]

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[MY]

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[FUCKING]

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[GOD]

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Kanaya then proceeds in performing the must badass form of mediation I’ve ever fucking seen. She slows Gamzee down, stops Vriska from needlessly fighting, and fucking KILLS ERIDAN. She becomes my hero.

She would then run into Sollux, tell Karkat she’s alive, and tell him to meet them on the roof.

At this point she is furious with Gamzee, but Karkat assures her this is his fight. And by fight I of course mean hugathon.

Once the meteor meets up with Rose and Dave, Kanaya is eager to find Gamzee and kill his fucking ass.

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This causes Gamzee to go into hiding. A year later she has toned it down to just wanting to hurt him really really bad. I don’t remember exactly what Kanaya does during the first year, but she probably hangs out with Rose a lot. Rose tells her she shouldn’t give up on trying to save their species.

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[Hot momma]

The next year Kanaya would meet Porrim, who she is intimidated by. This proves to be pointless, as Porrim really appreciates Kanaya, and even helps her gain a handle on her glowy vampire powers. She tells Kanaya something important, but we don’t learn what it is. When Meenah wants to visit the humans and trolls on the ship, Kanaya insists on keeping a close eye on her, because she doesn’t trust her at all.

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Rose asks Kanaya on a date, then gets so drunk she forgets. Kanaya didn’t know it was an official date anyway so it was fine. Rose would then tell Kanaya about Gamzee dating Terezi, and how she wants to stop everyone from fighting. Kanaya admires Rose for her troll-like behavior, then Rose says she wants to know all about troll romance. And about Kanaya’s romance.

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[And the fandom rejoiced.]

That’s Kanaya’s story thus far.

Her handle is grimAuxiliatrix [GA], her weapon is a chainsaw, and she is the Sylph of Space.

Sours: https://hsbyadumbass.tumblr.com/post/40379528203/kanaya-maryam

Homestuck And Hiveswap

"Your Idle Moments Seem To Invite Interruption The Least"

Title: Sylph of Space

Age: introduction:

6 Alternian solar sweeps/ 13 Earth years

credits:

9(.69) Alternian solar sweeps/ 21 Earth years

Screen Name: grimAuxiliatrix

Typing Style: Capitalizes the first letter of every word. Omits punctuation. Speaks in a very articulate and verbose manner.

Strife Specibi: makeupkind

Fetch Modus: Chastity

Relations

Vriska Serket - Moirail (Separated), Matesprit (Potential, later deceased)

Karkat Vantas & Gamzee Makara - Auspistice (Unrequited, later abandoned)

Rose Lalonde - Wife

Rose's Mom - Mother-in-law

Dave Strider - Brother-in-law

Doc Scratch - Guardian

Virgin Mother Grub - Lusus/Sprite (Deceased)

The Dolorosa - Ancestor (Deceased)

Porrim Maryam - Dancestor

Planet: Land of Rays and Frogs

Likes: Fashion, gardening, sordid vampire novella

Music

Virgin Orb ♫

Darling Kanaya ♫

Requiem of Sunshine and

Rainbows ♫

Jade Sylph ♫

Lilith In Starlight ♫Kanaya Maryam, also known by her Trollian handle

grimAuxiliatrix

kanaya

, is one of the Hivebent trolls. Her associated zodiac sign is Virgo ( :virgo: ), just like Andrew Hussie. Her left horn curves into a hook, emulating the tail of her astrological symbol when viewed from the front. She capitalizes the first letter of every word, and writes in jade green.

She was the last member of the Red Team to enter The Medium.

Etymology

"Kanaya" was suggested by Nebilim. "Maryam" was suggested by goggles8. Her name comes from the Sanskrit counterpart of Virgo, which is 'Kanya'; and 'Maryam' is the Arabic name for 'Mary', as in the Virgin Mary. Her Trollian handle may allude to her role in Alternian Society, since 'auxiliatrix' in Latin means 'helpful woman', and jade bloods' roles are centered around assistance and grub rearing.

Biography

Young Kanaya

Her appearance is similar to that of the other trolls in that she possesses gray skin, black hair, uniquely shaped horns, pointed teeth, and her main outfit consists of a top with her associated astrological symbol in her blood color. Only two of her teeth are protruding, giving Kanaya a vampire-like appearance. The shape of her hair may or may not be intentionally reminiscent of a stereotypical vampire's cape. Her hair is also somewhat similar to John Egbert's.

The reader first learns of Kanaya when she contacts Rose Lalonde on her birthday and states that she is on an entirely different timeline than the kids. However, she also says that they have spoken just minutes ago from her (GA's) point of view. Kanaya asks to be Rose's friend, believing that they were "supposed to." Rose accepts, albeit in a somewhat confused manner. She admits that their plan to troll Rose and her friends wasn't thought all the way through, and appears to be getting tips from Rose.

Hivebent

Kanaya lives in an oasis in a desert, beside a volcano and a red Frog Temple. Her oasis is nearly identical to the island where Jade lives. According to her, her hive originated from The Medium.

She shares other similarities with Jade: both use considerably more advanced weapons for their Strife specibi than others and both use a wardrobifier. She also possesses a Lunchtop like Jade's, except instead of Squiddles, it has cuttlefish on it. They both have a distinct enthusiasm towards botany and had dreams that take place in the Medium before playing Sburb/Sgrub. Kanaya's blood is even jade green. She has an

affection for the aesthetic

0

, something rare among the utilitarian-minded troll race. As such, she partakes in fashion design and hive decoration. She also appears to share Jade's gnostic abilities, due to a pre-existing awareness of Skaia. Kanaya and Jade are also both heroes of space, and the assigned frog breeders of their respective session.

She and Rose also share a taste in literature: both have a preference for stories featuring the unusual and monstrous. Rose bears an affinity for unfathomable eldritch horrors, while Kanaya indulges in sensuous tales of

rainbow drinkers

0

and secret passion, possibly the troll equivalent of Earth's romantic vampire novels.

Kanaya specifically requested to be the final member of the Red Team to connect to Sgrub. As such, she is Vriska Serket's server player. She seems to have requested this position specifically to stay close to Vriska, due to their moirallegiance and potential matespritship. Eventually she became Equius' client, connecting the Red Team with the Blue Team.

Kanaya is the Sylph of Space and resided in the Land of Rays and Frogs, home to the Trolls' Forge.

Post-Hivebent

After the trolls settled on an asteroid in the Veil, she used her chainsaw to amputate Tavros Nitram's legs, allowing them to be replaced by functional robot legs created by Equius.

Later she found the Auxiliatrix Key deep inside the asteroid, which unlocked the card she kept the Matriorb in. This confused her, because she had given up hope to rebuild the Troll's race, having been denied access to their new universe. She then quickly realised that she was supposed to hatch the new Mother Grub inside the core of the asteroid.

Kanaya, about to die.

She tells Jade about her duty to breed frogs and create the Genesis Frog. Unfortunately, she is interrupted by Eridan, who proceeds to KO Sollux and kill Feferi. Eridan destroys the matriorb, enraging Kanaya, who attacks. She is shot in the stomach by Eridan with his magic white science wand, and he absconds further into the lab. Karkat attempts to revive her with a kiss, but since her dream self was already slain by Jack, it does not work.

Kanaya gets her chance to shine.

Later, when Terezi returns to the computer area her corpse is missing and Feferi has

fang marks

(matching Kanaya's) on her neck along with what appears to be jade green lipstick or blood, even though her corpse was nowhere near Kanaya's. As Nepeta explores the vents, while hiding from Gamzee, she discovers a room with two disabled transportalizer pads and a trail of jade blood between them. One of the pads seem to have been cut apart. Terezi wakes up at some point boasting a similar bite mark, considerately bandaged. How very helpful.

Vriska, after getting bonked by Kanaya

Undead Kanaya finally shows up in

: 3x SHOWDOWN COMBO

, with Eridan's cape covering her wound. She appears to exhibit a bright white glow from her skin, rather than the normal ashen grey skin most trolls have, and brighter yellow eyes compared to the rest of the cast. She proceeds to run up to Gamzee and kick him in the groin bone bulge. Gamzee falls off the cliff honking the whole way down. Kanaya then turns her attention to Vriska, delivering a punch to her nose to establish

matespritship

, and Eridan, snapping his wand in half with a "DEBUNK" sound effect. She then gives Eridan a

similar treatment

. By cutting his legs off, it could be in a way a further method of removing his power, as the sign Aquarius rules a person's legs.

Later on, she ran into Sollux, who was blinded and had his teeth knocked out. At some point she also helped Jade with frog-breeding and in dealing with her denizen, Echidna.

Kanaya also participates in the

5x Showdown Combo

, but gets papped away by Karkat while attempting to auspisticize between him and Gamzee.

Act 6

Kanaya is seen with all the other surviving trolls, Rose, and Dave at the trolls' meteor when they arrive at the Green Sun. She initially wishes to stay behind with Aradia and Sollux when they're discussing leaving on the meteor, but Rose gets her to stay by helping her to admit that she wants to finish her duty to revive the troll race.

During their three year meteor journey, Kanaya begins dating Rose. Two years into the trip, she talks to Meenah in the first Openbound game, and in the third game she talks to her dancestor Porrim, who teaches her how to turn her glowing on and off as a rainbow drinker. Later in the game, she walks Meenah around the meteor (which is passing through a dream bubble), and talks to Rose and Dave. A little later, she goes on a date with a drunk Rose, and the two

kiss

, right before Rose falls down stairs, pulling a rare yet highly embarrassing

DRUNK HAPPEN xROSE COMBOBOB

.

After arriving in the B2 session, she gets teleported to the Land of Mounds and Xenon along with the other meteor inhabitants (sans Gamzee). The next thing she knows, she wakes up in the Land of Frost and Frogs, apparently teleported there along with Karkat by Grimbark Jade. Soon, they meet the Condesce-controlled Jane, who tries to intimidate them into co-operating with the Condesce's plans, stabbing Karkat to demonstrate her life powers. Jane is interrupted by Aranea, while Kanaya and Karkat rush to interrupt Terezi and Gamzee's fight, witnessing Gamzee beat Terezi to near death. In the ensuing melee, she witnesses Karkat stabbed to death by Gamzee, promptly dismembers Gamzee, and is incinerated by a psiioniic blast originating from the Condesce.

New Timeline

In the new timeline created by John's retcons, Kanaya dates Rose much like she did in the previous timeline. However, Vriska nips Rose's drinking problem in the bud, and has a habit of horning in on Rose and Kanaya's dates.

Kanaya is later seen on the kids' victory platform with everyone else, and she talks to Rose and Roxy, and then to Karkat and Vriska. When Vriska allows everyone to choose who will take on which villain, Kanaya wants to join John, Rose, and Roxy in fighting the Condesce, but Vriska explains that she and Karkat have to do a mission of their own, namely consulting with Echidna on Jade's planet to retrieve the genesis frog. Just after leaving Echidna's lair, they talk briefly about what Echidna had said, and about Karkat's aspect. Kanaya explains that Echidna was willing to give up the genesis frog, but only if Kanaya protected Karkat and prevented him from dying. Kanaya then

bonks

Karkat, knocking him out, and leaves soon afterwads, telling him

Pleasant Dreams Friend, If You Can Hear Me In Your Dreams

kanaya

. She then meets Roxy again and is taken by her to join the team against the Condesce.

Kanaya is last seen marrying Rose and caring for a troll brood with her, finally using the matriorb.

Personality and Traits

Sours: https://aminoapps.com/c/homestuck-hiveswap/page/item/kanaya-maryam/lBdg_JzCGI3D6QDvar27r1KkjgD6RQLv6n
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grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GA: Your Speech Was Really
GA: Emotional
CG: OK I DEFINITELY DON'T NEED YOU BUSTING MY BULGE ABOUT THE SPEECH NOW.
CG: I'VE TAKEN ENOUGH SHIT. I GOT A LITTLE WORKED UP OK?
CG: AND IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY, WHY DON'T YOU COME SAY IT TO MY FACE.
CG: I'M FED UP WITH THESE BACK DOOR NOOKBITING SHENANIGANS.
GA: I Dont Mean To Critique Your Speech
GA: I Just Wanted To Ask You Something In Confidence
GA: About The Humans
CG: OK, WHAT IS IT?
GA: Are You Sure Theyre Responsible For Our Misfortune
CG: YES. THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.
GA: Was It On Account Of Malice Or Incompetence
CG: I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BOTH?
CG: WHY DOES IT MATTER.
GA: It Sort Of Does
GA: Im Not Even That Sure Why
GA: This Is A Difficult Topic For Me To Broach
GA: For Reasons That You Probably Wont Understand
CG: GOD DAMMIT.
CG: NO MORE MYSTERIES, PLEASE.
CG: YOU'D THINK WE'D HAD OUR FILL OF THEM BY NOW.
CG: IF I HAVE TO SOLVE ONE MORE RIDDLE, I'M GOING TO...
CG: I DON'T KNOW.
GA: Will Your Response Involve An Athletic Maneuver Of Some Sort
CG: NO
CG: ABSOLUTELY NOT.
CG: I WILL JUST GO OVER THERE AND WEEP GENTLY IN THE HORN PILE.
CG: SERIOUSLY, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?
GA: Um
CG: WHAT I CAN TELL YOU IS
CG: THEY ARE ALL LUDICROUSLY INCOMPETENT.
CG: SOFT, PINK FRAGILE THINGS WHO DO NOTHING BUT WASTE TIME.
CG: THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE HORNS!
GA: What
GA: Really
CG: YEAH, I WAS LIKE, WHOA DID THEY GET FILED DOWN OR SOMETHING
CG: BUT NO IT TURNS OUT THAT'S JUST HOW THEY ARE.
GA: Weird
CG: THEY'RE A MISERABLE POINTLESS CROP OF LIFEFORMS FROM A MEANINGLESS BORING PUSTULE OF A PLANET.
CG: IT'S INFURIATING THEY WERE SOMEHOW ALLOWED TO HAVE ANY INFLUENCE OVER US.
GA: It Is Pretty Disheartening
GA: But
GA: You Are Absolutely Sure They Are All Failures
GA: And That They Have No Chance Of Succeeding
CG: YEP.
CG: IT'S ALL RIGHT HERE.
GA: Im Not Sure Which Depresses Me More
GA: The Sabotage Of Our Session Or The Futility Of Theirs
CG: WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
CG: YOU'RE BEING REALLY WEIRD ABOUT THIS.
GA: Well I Havent Asked What I Wanted To Ask
CG: THEN ASK!!!
GA: Its About TentacleTherapist
CG: YEAH. THAT'S THE ROSE HUMAN.
CG: SHE'S APPARENTLY PRETTY SARCASTIC.
CG: IT'S IN MY NOTES.
GA: You Have Notes On Them
CG: YES.
GA: I Guess
GA: Thats Why Youre Our Leader Karkat
CG: NO, I'M YOUR LEADER BECAUSE OF MY INCREDIBLE TACTICAL SKILLS AND MY ABILITY TO MOBILIZE AND MOTIVATE A BUNCH OF USELESS PEOPLE TOWARD A COMMON GOAL, AND BECAUSE I'M EXTREMELY AMBITIOUS AND INTREPID. ALSO BECAUSE LEADERSHIP IS IN MY BLOOD. WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS.
GA: Statements Like That Are Also Why Youre Our Leader
CG: OK, I'LL ACCEPT THAT.
GA: Have You Talked To Her
CG: WHO
GA: The Rose Human
GA: Also
GA: Do We Really Have To Say Things Like The Rose Human
CG: OF COURSE WE DO.
CG: IT SOUNDS SUITABLY DISDAINFUL.
CG: I MEAN, IF A BUNCH OF ALIENS STARTED HASSLING YOU, YOU WOULD EXPECT THEM TO ACT REALLY HIGH AND MIGHTY, AND SUPERIOR IN EVERY WAY, RIGHT?.
CG: WHICH WE ARE, OF COURSE.
GA: Uh Okay
CG: AND NO, I HAVEN'T TALKED TO HER.
CG: I WILL PROBABLY STEER CLEAR OF HER FOR THE MOST PART.
CG: I HAVE MY SIGHTS SET ON THE JOHN HUMAN, AND PROBABLY ALSO THE JADE HUMAN, SHE'S A HUGE CULPRIT TOO.
GA: It Just
GA: Feels Really Silly When We Say Things Like The John Human In Confidence Amongst Ourselves
CG: WE HAVE TO COMMIT TO THIS. STAY IN CHARACTER, YOU KNOW?
CG: REMEMBER THE SPEECH.
GA: The Speech Has Become Emblazoned On My Think Pan
GA: Virtually Ensconced In The Fold Of My Personal Mythology
CG: DID YOU WANT TO TROLL HER? ARE YOU VOLUNTEERING?
CG: BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE GREAT, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE THAT.
GA: I Dont Know
GA: Im Not Sure If Ive Got It In Me Right Now
CG: COME ON. YOU'LL BE GREAT AT IT.
CG: PLEASE JUST DO THIS ONE THING FOR ME. WE'VE GOT TO STAY COORDINATED ON THIS.
CG: TOO MANY OF THESE FUCKS ARE GOING ROGUE.
CG: LIKE WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING.
GA: Fine
CG: GREAT! THANKS KANAYA.
CG: I'LL EXPECT A FULL REPORT SOON.
GA: A Report About What
CG: LIKE
CG: HOW HASSLED YOU GOT HER TO BE
CG: BUT LESS STUPID SOUNDING THAN THAT.
GA: Is There A Metric For That Concept
CG: NO
CG: WELL THERE COULD BE
CG: WE CAN GAUGE YOUR RESULTS WITH THE "FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER".
GA: That Seems Just As Disparaging To Me As It Is To Her
CG: YEAH WELL
CG: USE IT AS MOTIVATION
CG: I GOTTA GET CRACKING HERE, LATER.

Sours: https://www.homestuck.com/story/2694
Alterniabound 10 - Darling Kanaya

VRISKA: How's it going over there?
KANAYA: I Told Them I Would Leave Them Alone And Go Talk To Some Trolls
KANAYA: I Guess This Troll Over Here Will Have To Do
VRISKA: Happy to 8e of service.
VRISKA: Man, look at them. They all seem so excited.
VRISKA: Like a 8unch of wigglers hopped up on high fructose gru8 sauce.
VRISKA: I hope they don't crash from this reunion 8uzz too hard 8efore it's showtime.
KANAYA: If They Do I Am Sure One Of Your Contingency Plans Will Swing Into Full Effect
KANAYA: Maybe You Can Buy Time For Everyone To Recover By Lulling Our Adversaries Into An Extensive Strategy Session
VRISKA: Hey Maryam, why don't you can it!
VRISKA: Our sassy little games of one upsmanship are fun and all, 8ut I'm trying to 8e sincere here.
VRISKA: You know, seeing as this is the last time I'll see you all in a while.
KANAYA: Youre Right Sorry
KANAYA: Bring On The Sincerity
VRISKA: I was just saying, a8out the humans.
VRISKA: They seem so happy.
VRISKA: I mean, look at Rose!
VRISKA: No offense, 8ut most of the time she's kind of a pill.
KANAYA: None Taken And Me Too Probably
VRISKA: Good point.
VRISKA: 8ut I don't think I've ever seen her like that. 8y which I mean, making no discerni8le effort whatsoever to disguise the fact that she's happy.
VRISKA: Well, ok. May8e there were a couple times.
KANAYA: Is That In Reference To How You Like To Flagrantly Spy On Us Sometimes
VRISKA: I don't "spy" on you!
VRISKA: That is such an unfair characteriz8tion.
VRISKA: Would you can it with that shit already??
KANAYA: Ill Never Understand Your Ongoing And Apparently Unironic Use Of The Phrase "Can It"
KANAYA: And In Particular Why You Always Seem To Direct This Expression To Me And Seemingly No One Else
KANAYA: I Just Think It Is Such A Peculiar And Amusing Way To Tell Someone To Be Quiet
VRISKA: What! Why?
VRISKA: No, that's a normal way of putting it!
VRISKA: I mean... it's a pretty normal thing to say, right? When you want... someone... to pipe down?
KANAYA: "Pipe Down" Isnt Even Much Better
KANAYA: Its Just A Funny Thing To Say And The Fact That You Dont Realize It Makes It Funnier
KANAYA: I Think The Underlying Explanation Is That You Are Just Funnier That You Realize Or Try To Be
KANAYA: It Is Something To Like About You
VRISKA: I guess I'll have to accept your sass as a compliment then.
VRISKA: And no, I don't SPY on you. I just...
VRISKA: Check in with you sometimes! To see how you're doing.
KANAYA: Okay If Thats How You Want To Put It
KANAYA: You Involve Yourself In Many Private Matters Without Even Offering The Pretense Of Doing Otherwise
KANAYA: To Think That At One Point I Was Regarded As The Meddlesome One
VRISKA: Look, it just so happens that I care very deeply for all my friends and want to make sure they're doing alright on a somewhat regular 8asis.
VRISKA: Is that a crime??
KANAYA: In Some Societies Violating The Privacy Of Others In Certain Ways Yes I Believe So
KANAYA: I Understand Your Motives Though And Really This Is Just Me Giving You A Hard Time
VRISKA: I never got why everyone treats their romantic affairs as so PRIV8.
VRISKA: What's the 8ig deal. So you like to do some smooching and stuff with another person. May8e get over yourselves??
VRISKA: Karkat is the worst offender. You'd think he was charged with guarding st8 secrets. News flash, 8uddy. No8ody gives a fuck!
KANAYA: It Sounds Like You Very Much Give A Fuck Though
VRISKA: Hey, why don't you can... I mean, cut me some slack?
VRISKA: I don't hold anyone to standards I don't hold myself to.
VRISKA: I'm very open a8out my rel8tionships! My moirallegience with Terezi? Pff. Ask me anything! I have nothing to hide.
VRISKA: We'll throw our diamonds up in your face like we're making a getaway.
VRISKA: We don't even give a fuck. If you can't take the stench, then get out of the meal 8lock.
VRISKA: Same with any ashen liaisons I've 8een involved with over the years. What's the 8ig deal?
KANAYA: I Have To Admit To Being Impressed With Your Uh
KANAYA: Strangely Natural Proficiency With Auspisticism
KANAYA: It Is An Incredibly Difficult Quadrant To Master And Very Emotionally Taxing I Find
KANAYA: In A Way That Conflicts With The Pursuit Of Relationships In Other Quadrants
KANAYA: I Cant Ignore That During Our Trip You Probably Diffused A Lot Of Unpleasant Situations Before They Started
KANAYA: But When It Comes To Matters Of Privacy And Such
KANAYA: And Which Forms Of Expression People Feel At Ease Showing In Public
KANAYA: Pale Relationships Are Really Different I Think
KANAYA: What About The Other Kind
KANAYA: Seems To Me You Have Not Been Involved In Any So Im Not Sure You Really Understand
VRISKA: I just don't have time for anything like that in my life right now!
VRISKA: Red and 8lack rel8tionships are so a8sor8ing. I have a strong pale rel8tionship which is very important to me, 8ut that's a8out all I can handle.
VRISKA: May8e l8ter on when the dust settles from this crazy adventure, I'll consider it. 8ut for now, this is all I can deal with.
VRISKA: I just have too many irons in the fire, you know?
KANAYA: I Know All About The Irons
KANAYA: I Have Heard Rumors Of This Alleged Fire As Well
VRISKA: So what are they talking a8out?
KANAYA: What
VRISKA: All your 8uddies over there!
VRISKA: We were still talking a8out that. It's ridiculous how easily we all get sidetracked 8y romantic 8lither.
KANAYA: Oh
KANAYA: "Family" Stuff Mainly
VRISKA: It's pretty fascin8ting. Sociologically speaking, I mean.
VRISKA: Their idea of families.
VRISKA: The idea of si8lings is strange enough. People who are genetically similar and grow up together.
VRISKA: Spending all that time with Dave and Rose, you started getting a sense for it. Like, the logic of it, how it must have shaped Earth society. 8ut also its inherent ridiculousness.
VRISKA: Sharing a residence with your near-clone while growing up? So preposterous.
VRISKA: 8ut then you add the idea of parents, and suddenly it's complete madness.
VRISKA: Our society was so individualistic, and that all seemed so normal and reasona8le.
VRISKA: So I look over there, and see two Lalondes and a Strider, and there's a whole OTHER Strider on the way, and...
VRISKA: A human family starts striking me as not so much a social unit, so much as like, an INFEST8TION.
KANAYA: Yeah
KANAYA: Well
KANAYA: I Will Say An Entire Other Strider Does Sound Like A Bit Much
KANAYA: On Top Of What Is Already Quite A Spectacle
KANAYA: Maybe We Just Dont Get It
VRISKA: Of course we don't. That's my point.
VRISKA: I mean, we have ancestors, 8ut under normal circumstances it's pretty much UNHEARD of to imagine you'd ever get the chance to meet them.
VRISKA: We had the unusual privilege of meeting most of ours, or at least, certain versions of them.
VRISKA: 8ut that's still just a one-person lineage. It's really simple and comprehensi8le.
VRISKA: Human lineage is just a huge clusterfuck if you ask me.
KANAYA: There Is A Certain Advantage To It Though
KANAYA: Their Decentralized Propagation Makes It A Lot More Likely Their Race Will Persist
KANAYA: The Same Cannot Be Said For Ours
KANAYA: I Still Often Wonder If We Are The Last Of Our Kind
VRISKA: You're still dou8tful a8out whether you can hatch a new mother gru8?
KANAYA: Yeah
KANAYA: More Than Doubtful Id Say
VRISKA: You shouldn't lose faith!
VRISKA: I'm not even the slightest 8it worried a8out whether you can do it.
VRISKA: When you get the chance, just 8rainstorm a8out it with the Lalondes. They tend to 8e full of ideas.
VRISKA: Anyway, try not to get down a8out it. I have a good feeling. ::::)
KARKAT: GET DOWN ABOUT WHAT
KANAYA: A Particular Obligation I Have Yet To Fulfill
KANAYA: I Sense She Possesses Some Intelligence On The Matter She Wishes To Be Cagey About So I Guess That Part Of The Conversation Has Been Concluded
KARKAT: OBLIGATION?
KARKAT: VRISKA, HAVE YOU BEEN DISHING MORE DIRT ON OUR STRATEGY BEFORE FORMALLY BRINGING OUR MEETING BACK TO ORDER?
KARKAT: PRETTY SLOPPY LEADERSHIP MOVE, IF YOU ASK ME.
VRISKA: Karkat, it had NOTHING to do with your and Kanaya's upcoming roles in this campaign.
VRISKA: It was a more priv8 matter pertaining to Kanaya's 8roader significance to the future of our people.
VRISKA: I will 8e very clearly spelling out the roles you and she will 8e playing momentarily.
KARKAT: ME AND SHE??
KARKAT: AS IN LIKE, TOGETHER?
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING TOGETHER.
VRISKA: You'll find out.
KARKAT: GREAT! I'M SO GLAD.
KARKAT: AT THIS POINT, I ONLY EVER FEEL ANGST OR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST SENSE OF AGITATION IN MY SOUL TO THE PRECISE EXTENT THAT I WORRY VRISKA *MIGHT* NOT HAVE ALL OF OUR FORTUNES COMPLETELY MAPPED OUT ALREADY.
KARKAT: I'M BEGINNING TO HYPERVENTILATE SLIGHTLY LESS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!
VRISKA: Good to hear, Karkat. Almost as cool as it is to see you yelled yourself out with John and Dave already, and have decided to come clock in some yelling time with us.
VRISKA: Your a8ility to dig deep down and find a second wind is really quite astonishing. I shudder to think what would happen to this party if we ran out of its most precious natural resource.
KARKAT: HAHAHA!
KARKAT: BURNED. OWNED. DEVASTATED. WHAT MORE IS THERE TO SAY?
KARKAT: NOTHING REALLY, UNLESS YOU WANT WHATEVER PITIFUL TATTERS OF YOUR SELF IMAGE YOU HAVE LEFT TO GET POWER-PISSED ON BY GODQUEEN SERKET HERSELF, YET AGAIN.
KARKAT: EITHER THAT, OR ONE COULD RUMINATE FONDLY OVER THE HEAVENLY RET-FORKED REALITY WHEREIN SHE WAS STABBED IN THE BACK BY HER MOIRAIL, AND WE ALL GOT TO LIVE OUT THE *FUCKING BLISS* THAT TIMELINE MUST HAVE BEEN.
KARKAT: JUST THINK OF THE PEACE AND QUIET WE WOULD HAVE HAD ON THE METEOR! IT WAS PROBABLY *MORE* THAN WORTH THE PRICE OF CANNON BALLING ASS FIRST INTO SOME SORT OF MASSACRE TRAP.
KARKAT: VRISKA SERKET, MAKING THE LIVING ENVY THE HYPOTHETICAL DEAD SINCE... WHENEVER IT WAS SHE STARTED DOING THAT!
VRISKA: Way to stick the landing on that 8ar8, genius.
VRISKA: I appreci8te that you are just "moseying over" to ar8itrarily drum up some utterly meaningless contention 8etween us, 8ut it's like I've said 8efore many times, Karkat. I'm not interested!
KARKAT: OUCH! SLAUGHTERED AGAIN. "HEHEHE!"
KARKAT: DON'T LISTEN TO HER, KANAYA. IT'S LIKE THIS RUNNING GAG SHE DOES ALL THE TIME, TO OWN ME.
KANAYA: What
KARKAT: IT'S THIS FUNNY THING WE DO. OR MAINLY, SHE DOES.
KARKAT: ALWAYS IMPLYING THAT I'VE BEEN SPADES-CRUSHING ON HER, AND GETTING SHUT DOWN. IT NEVER STOPS BEING HILARIOUS!
KANAYA: ...
KARKAT: FIRST OF ALL, AS IF SHE CAN PROVE ANYTHING.
KARKAT: SECOND, IF WE'RE BEING *TOTALLY FAIR* HERE, MORE THAN A FEW OF HER SNAPPY COMEBACKS ARE ARGUABLY MORE TINGED WITH THAT SORT OF EYEBROW-COCKING HOSTILITY THAN ANYTHING *I'VE* EVER SAID TO HER.
KARKAT: MAYBE MAKES ONE A LITTLE SUSPICIOUS, NO? THAT MAYBE THERE'S SOME PROJECTION GOING ON HERE. JUST SAYING!!!
VRISKA: Alright Karkat, I'm going to leave you here to dig yourself into whatever em8arrassing hole you seem intent on digging.
VRISKA: I'm going to keep working the crowd a 8it. As you know, a leader's jo8 is never done! See ya.

Sours: https://www.homestuck.com/story/7508

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